“There was fear involved” Thomas Hitzlsperger describes his experience of coming out as gay in 2014 | FourFourTwo
Thomas Hitzlsperger enjoyed a distinguished career, turning out for Germany at the highest level and playing for the likes of Aston Villa, Stuttgart and West Ham.
But in January 2014, several months after hanging up his boots, his decision to publicly come out as gay had a profound impact far beyond the football pitch.
The former midfielder became one of the most high-profile former footballers to come out, speaking candidly about his sexuality in an interview with German newspaper Die Zeit, at a time when male homosexuality remained a largely taboo subject in professional football.
Hitzlsperger on his experience of coming out
More than a decade has passed since then, with Hitzlsperger reflecting on the response he received and his message, and his advice for those still struggling with their identity.
“My estimation is that 95 per cent of the reactions were positive,” he tells FourFourTwo. “The overall sentiment from people was that it was great that someone had spoken up. They said to me it was powerful that someone who’d played at the highest level could share his experiences.
“When I was contemplating the idea of going public, there was fear involved,” he admits. “You’re thinking ‘What are people going to say? They may not like it and will criticise me’. I was dealing with my perception of what the world was like at the time, and my own fear of rejection.
“But having gone public, I realised that all my worries were unjustified and it felt like the world wasn’t such a bad place. At times, the media painted the picture of a hostile world, but then you speak up and think to yourself ‘Why is this not happening, why is the world so much better and why are there so many lovely people?’
“That’s why I say we have to tell more positive stories and not focus on a narrative that’s so sad and tragic. We have to talk about everything, but in general my ambition is to be positive and say “Life can be pretty amazing – if you don’t think you fit in, wait until you tell people and you’ll find many who will support you.” You can’t see what’s in front of you until you tell your story and live your truth.
“I spoke about a real sense of community during my childhood from a familial sense, and now I’m part of another community – the gay one. Meeting new people has expanded my horizons. Instead of focusing on people you might lose because of rejection, rather look at all the new and wonderful people who you wouldn’t have met before, if you’d kept quiet. The best part of coming out is not having to worry any more. I now focus on my job – as a shareholder, a CEO and a TV pundit – and my personal life, and nothing else.
“Whatever I do in life I want to be successful, but if you constantly live with fear, then you can’t be your best self. I knew that not living my truth couldn’t go on and I had to make a statement for my own benefit. If it helped others, even better.”
Hitzlsperger adds that his experience can help others who are struggling with their identity.
“What would I say now to those who may be struggling with their sexuality and think the world is a bad place?” he asks. “I’ve been supported by so many people and live my life now without any fears, when it comes to my personality. I was delighted to get that affirmation as well from people I worked with in the game and those that just followed my footballing journey. I was very grateful and appreciative to everyone who said something positive publicly.
“After the newspaper interview I did with Die Zeit was published in 2014, my former team-mate Lukas Podolski described my coming out as “brave” and “an important sign of our time”. My former national team boss Joachim Low said I “deserved respect from every side.””
Football v Homophobia is a year-round initiative tackling anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination, building inclusive communities at all levels of the game around the world. For more info and support, visit footballvhomophobia.com
