‘The surgeon told me I wouldn’t play again. That was the first time I attempted my own life’ Clarke Carlisle on the injury that almost cost him his life 25 year ago
Former Premier League star Clare Carlisle has explained how a major injury precipitated his first attempt to take his own life back in 2001.
One-time centre-back Carlisle was a 21-year-old QPR player at the time and ended up missing an extended spell of third-tier action, just as his career seemed to be on the up.
As you might imagine, that came as a devastating blow – and Carlise has been up-front about just how bad things for got for him.
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Carlisle told FourFourTwo: “I went into an innocuous tackle with Rufus Brevett and I snapped my ACL, rotated the fibula head, dislodged the nerve and ripped the hamstring off my right knee.
“I was out for 22 months and it was just utterly horrendous. That was the beginning of the mental health struggles.
“Football meant so much to me. It brought me out of the council estate and was making my dreams come true.
“The surgeon told me that I wouldn’t play again. That was the first time I attempted my own life. It was post-op, and I was just drinking myself into oblivion in a flat in Acton.
“Thankfully I was found. I’d taken an overdose, and they pumped my stomach. I survived.
“The thing is, in 2001, that wasn’t seen as a cry for help. It was more like, ‘Oops, you got away with that one, Clarke, you naughty boy, don’t do that again!’.
“We all just pretended it never happened.
“On and off the training pitch, I gave everything for two years to get back to fitness.
“Not only that, but I went on to play for another 13 years.
“So even though it was the beginning of my adverse mental health, it was still an incredible example of how my application and dedication and determination allowed me to overcome a career-threatening injury.”
Carlisle went on to reach the Premier League with Watford and then again with Burnley.
“What you’ve got to comprehend is that I didn’t know I was experiencing adverse mental health going through all that with my injuries – so there’s no cognition that I’m overcoming something.
“I went to Watford and helped them get promoted to the Premier League, but I missed the first seven months of the following season. I thought I’d missed my chance.
“By the time I made my Premier League debut against Portsmouth at Vicarage Road, on a blazing-hot day, I had an absolute stormer – but we were already relegated at that point.”
